HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
