Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
