I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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