When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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