hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
