so explain again why im purple
no
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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