I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
