how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
