i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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