My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
