No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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