we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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