the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
