I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
