I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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