WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
