Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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