Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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