I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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