Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
