he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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