It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I supernannyed him into submission
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
