it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
