Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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