K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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