S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
