sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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