You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
