Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I smell stomach acid.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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