did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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