my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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