you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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