stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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