Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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