You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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