Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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