my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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