Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
