Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
