did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
