Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
