who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Randomize
