I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
