i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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