quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
he just fucked me for my cheese.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
