forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
