honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize