when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Congratulations! We have a period
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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