let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
