Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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