? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
