yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
