Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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