No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
