Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
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Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Who died my cat blue again?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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