You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
