if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
