remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So apparently I’m into choking now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
