Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
