I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
